Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I Love Google

Not in a "I want to marry Google" kind of way, but in an "I am inspired by their creativity" way. In fact, I am going to start documenting their creativity here. Before you ask, this is not because I'm afraid I'm running out of topics to discuss here. Here are a few examples of their fun/educational tricks.
This was the home page image on October 8th. It was in the memory of John Lennon, who would have turned 70. They even made this Google doodle.

This piece appeared October 21st.
I love the poppy art work with the featured guy forming the "G" in Google. Oh, and that guy? Dizzy Gillespie. Google chose to honor what would have been his 93rd birthday.

They love Halloween so much, they made multiple images!
I'm a little surprised to see a whole lot of Scooby Doo and the gang and not a single mention of Charlie Brown's search for The Great Pumpkin.

If not for this...
I wouldn't know that the x-ray had been around 115 years.

I have no idea how Google knew it was so murky I couldn't see the sun on Veteran's Day,
but they did.

Thanks to Google, I clicked on this image...

and learned this was to celebrate what would have been the 160th birthday of Robert Louis Stevenson.

And finally... I feel much love for Google because it seems to love its employees. This news sure beats any holiday bonus my employer has ever handed down.

I'm sure you know what this one means.
I was a little confused about why it appeared two days before Thanksgiving until I clicked on it and was lead to this page.
Wednesday, they offered up this image which led to this recipe.

And it wasn't until Thursday that I realized you could spell Google with food.
Apparently, I'm not observant. For two days, they subtly used food to be the "oo" in Google. I stared at this image for a minute before I was able to read Google out of that yummy display. It also included links to many recipes. GOOGLE. You people are smart!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Please Don't

In the last couple of years, I have rediscovered my love of reading. I like a good memoir - political, historical or celebrity. But I have stumbled upon a few recently that I cannot believe have actually wound up on bookshelves. This is the first one that made me a bit ragey:
First of all, putting that book in the humor section is an insult to the books that deserve to be there (Garfield and Jon Stewart are likely trying to bump that book right off the table). Second, you don't need to even pick up the book to know that you stand a VERY good chance at getting an STD from it. Third, if you're buying this book and reading it, you're a douchebag who's also a loser. If you need tips from a guy who is only able to hook up with a different girl every night because he's on TV, you need to take a good look at yourself. Or apply for one of those reality shows and hope you get to take The Situation's 15 minutes of fame. I think he's at the 14:35 mark.

Are you pre-ordering this book?
You are most definitely in need of a break from television. And I don't care if you're buying this as you wait for your fake tan to settle in, you cannot tell me you honestly believe a girl who calls herself "Snooki" can write a book. I don't doubt that she can read (those TV contracts are complicated and she seems to be making good cash). I've seen clips of her and have heard enough to know that she can barely put together a sentence, so a 304 page book? PUHLEAZE.

And, REALLY America?
You want a book that has a huge spelling error on the cover? And what could they possibly tell you that you don't already know? These girls keep nothing to themselves! One of them got a bikini wax from her sister on their reality show. They get into great detail on their other lady business. Also, not a week goes by that I don't have one of these ladies on a magazine in my mailbox. The only way they could reveal something is if they all said they have wieners. Otherwise, just watch E!, people. It'll save you money and time.

I almost get this.
Young girls will collect anything with their favorite pop star on it. But I think money would be better spent on these toys than on a book that has everything every Bieber fan would already know. He's just 16! What kind of life has he lived? A quick Google search turned up this article (for free) that is most likely a peek into his 240 page book. I just took a quick look at his book online. It's like reading his Twitter feed and seeing lots of pictures from his tour. I suppose it's a good collectible gift for a young fan. But, girls, if you're expecting to get something new out of this, you'll be disappointed. Wait until he's old, like, in his 20s, and has some real stories to tell. I hope by then he turns his haircut around.

So, friends, if you're looking for something to get me this holiday season, please don't buy me a book written by a pop star or reality show person (refuse to call them a star). It will either be returned to the store for an actual book I want or will be left in a public place for someone else to pick up and haul around.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Itty Bitty Ridiculous

I spent some time this holiday weekend watching television (excuses: it was chilly outside, I didn't want to stab some grabby holiday shopper, I had a rough Thanksgiving) and stumbled upon a silly commercial.

You know how hard it is to get out of a car with your umbrella and try to stay dry?
Sorry. This is the closest photo I could find of someone doing that.

This commercial showed a woman with a giant umbrella and pouring rain outside her car. The door got wet (and there was an "Ugh. I hate that!" uttered) and so did she. So, I'm thinking this new invention could be a MUST HAVE. Then I saw it.
That's the itty bitty brella.

Good: it's so small, you can open it inside your car.
Bad: it's so small, it will cover your head, leaving the rest of you all wet.

I don't know about you, but I find the whole "putting on the rain slicker in the car" thing to be more challenging than opening an umbrella in the car. But this is not the silliest way to protect just your hair from showers. Take a look at this other contraption.
That's nubrella.

Good: it's hands-free and could be used at Halloween as part of your Lady GaGa costume.
Bad: it's only protecting your head and shoulders and if it's a summer rainstorm, you'll sweat to death.

These two inventions have the right idea - keeping us dry - but they don't seem to do it well. I'll stick to my super cool umbrella from Squid London.

It changes color in the rain! Mine is not the London skyline, but it's just as cool! And you know what? It keeps most of me dry!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Week In Pop Culture

Can you guess the supermodel on vacation?
ANOTHER remake: The Lone Ranger? Really?

Billy Joel had old man surgery.

Mission: Impossible may live on without Tom Cruise.

Here's a strange celebrity crime story.

I get it, Superbowl. You don't want me to watch your halftime show.

MTV is kind of getting back into the business of music on the TV.

If you haven't heard Nicki Minaj, you might want to get familiar with at least part of her.

CUTE KID ALERT: This boy's parents are Amy Poehler and Will Arnett.
Jessica Simpson almost let TV keep her from getting engaged.

Kanye is still angry about a lot of things.

Angelina Jolie hates Thanksgiving.

I'm not sure this couple is actually dating - but I think it's safe to say they're spending a lot of time naked.

Halle Berry wants another baby.

George Lopez's divorce looks like it's going to cost him a lot.

Billy Joel had surgery.

I nominate Neil Patrick Harris for the "cutest dad ever" award. There is one, right?

Dane Cook: still not funny, now creepy.
I'm a wee bit jealous of Blake Lively.

Christian Bale says he just has one more Batman movie in him.

Demi Moore spends a fortune on her face - and it shows.

John Travolta and Kelly Preston have a new baby boy.

Here's Jessica Alba reminding me why I don't watch her "act."

Paris Hilton's posturing for attention is SOOO old.

I like when actors are honest about really bad movies.

Fantasia's reality is pretty tragic.

This does not make me want a pair of Sketchers.

I think Shonda Rhimes has finally found a way to get me to stop watching "Grey's Anatomy."

Look who's had some work done:

When will celebrities learn not to text people?

Miley Cyrus has totally become 2001 Britney Spears.

Kat Von D's house burned down.

Hey, Courtney Love! Don't go changin'...

That crazy Tim Burton wants your help writing a story on Twitter.

FYI: Will Ferrell is just fine being the most overpaid actor.

It looks like Joan Rivers may never win an Oscar - even if it's just a documentary focusing on her.

If you want to see how the ladies dressed for the American Music Awards (an award that doesn't really mean anything - go Grammy or go home, musicians!), go here.

It appears we all need to send Kate Bosworth cheeseburgers. STAT!

ICYMI: Anne Hathaway's impression of Katie Holmes was even better than Vanessa Bayer's Miley Cyrus.

Drew Carey is coming back to primetime.

Since I can't unread this piece about Martina Navratilova, I must share it.

Katy Perry isn't all about boobs.

Lindsay Lohan is out of work. On a related note, I totally forgot what a drug-free Lindsay Lohan looks like.

Here's Juliette Lewis (who's 37!) not looking like a homeless person.

These ladies make me look forward to aging without seeing a plastic surgeon (well, mostly).

This guy is headed to jail.

Steven Spielberg has found his Lincoln.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Card From Grandma

Nothing like a little dose of Grandma Guilt on Thanksgiving.
Please note the random question at the end of the card.
Is the station having Thanksgiving there?
She might be remembering my early days in TV, where the only way any of us would get to eat a turkey dinner was while covering a charity event and the organization would take charity on us and feed us. Don't judge. We were in need. And poor. Note to kids wanting to get into television: this will likely be your future. Don't be too proud to take a free plate of food. It beats the vending machine. Or convenience store hot dogs - those will kill you.

So to answer grandma's card: Yes, I wish I could be with my family today. Instead, I'm spending it with my work family (What? Did you think elves put news on TV on holidays?). There will be turkey and most of the trimmings. There might even be some bickering to make me feel like I'm with my actual family.

REMEMBER: The rule of reading the "Card From Grandma" post is that you will never EVER tell my grandma that you've seen them on The Internet. She doesn't quite know how this works and it will just confuse her.

Related Post:

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Help. Me.

Friends, I have a problem. I can't stop adding books to my nightstand. Taking this picture this morning made me a bit ashamed.
If you follow this blog, you might recognize a few of those books from a post back in June. I started "7 Events That Made America America" and it's super slow. It might look like a small book, but the print is really small and I'm having a hard time getting past the bias. There's a very good chance I might not finish it. If you're interested in it, let me know and I'll send it to you. I haven't even opened "The Passage." I'm scared. It's too big (that's what she said) and I'm afraid that hauling it around could give me a back injury. If you're saying, "That's why you should have an eReader!" let me say this: that Tony Blair book has been attacked by soup not once but TWICE. I'm not sure if my hand thinks Tony needs to eat something or if I'm just so clumsy and that book is so big that I can't help but spill on it. To be clear, I haven't just splashed on the book. I have full-on covered the book in soup. I would be absolutely sick if I did that to an eReader of any kind! As for the book, it's interesting (once you get passed the whole MP business and down to the PM stuff), but I've been taking a slow approach to it. It's as if my little brain says, "Woah! Slow down! We can't handle all of that at once!"

I have been trying to balance the fiction with non-fiction. I think it's necessary to take a mental adventure after reading about the harsh truths. If I didn't try to find that balance, I'd be crazier/drunker. Note: I don't always drink when I'm reading. Sometimes I read at work and there's not booze there. Believe me. I've looked!

While I previously placed myself on book-buying probation, I am quite proud of the number of books I have read this year (see column on the right). It was my way of making sure I held myself accountable after making a pledge to read more books. That said, I am accepting books. I'm just trying not to buy them until I get through at least half of that stack. I think I might have a good chance at doing that since my favorite TV shows are coming to an end. Keep your eye posted on the right column for my progress. And if you want to read any of the books I have in that pile, let me know. I love to pass on a book!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Ten Things

Confession: I love Joan Rivers. I love her when she's mean. I love her when she's snarky (yes, there IS a difference). But the thing I love most is her honesty.

Everyone knows she's had plastic surgery because she's told all about it. I like that. Unlike some ladies, she's just telling us what's she's had done so no one says, "Why can't my eyebrows be closer to my hairline like Joan Rivers?" They CAN be. It'll cost you.

I decided to see what I can learn from her on Twitter. It's official: everything I know about aging, I have learned from Joan Rivers.

Don't Be Afraid To Look Like The Witch From "Snow White"
For comparison:

Hope Doctors Invent Female Viagra

You're Never Too Old For A Fresh Start

There Is A Reality Show For The Old Folks (If We All Dream)
I just hope there's no nudity!

There's A Bright Side To Daylight Saving Time

My Potty Mouth Makes Me Cultured

Just Because You're Old, You Don't Have To Say You Love Susan Boyle

Old People Don't Just Love Hard Candy

Never Accept Your Spinster Fate

You Only Need Plastic Surgery If You Plan To See People In Person

Now, I can't wait to grow old! It sounds like so much fun! Plus, you can be cranky, say what is on your mind and no one will say a thing to you! Wait. I do that already. Much love to Joan Rivers! I can only hope to have that much fun when I'm her age - whatever it is!

Related Posts:

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Adventures in Chocovine

It's been three months since I first spotted this mysterious bottle in the wine section of my local store.
After I made my immediate decision that it was not something I could embrace, I had a change of heart. Well, actually, it was not a bout of courage but a gift card that meant I did not have to shell out my own cash for something that sounds kind of disgusting.

A little background on this stuff...

As the bottle says, it's a combination of chocolate and red wine. Now, these are things I usually like. But does this drink have to look like Yoohoo? And before I'm accused of burying the lead, I had no idea until I got this bottle home that it has 14% alcohol. Who needs a Four Loko?

On to my mission: drink the bottle and see what happens.
7:30PM - Poured the first glass. Wow. It's really thick and more like Yoohoo than I thought. It smells a bit like chocolate milk, but a bit different. First sip: just a tiny taste to make sure it's not going to make me spew. It doesn't. I have another sip.
It's definitely chocolaty. But I don't taste the wine. There's a definite alcohol taste. I'm not sure what it is. I don't love this (yet), but I don't hate it (yet) either. BTW: Yes, I am wearing my Snuggie. I'm cold.

7:44- I have removed the Snuggie. Having a hot flash. Or am I gonna throw up? I haven't even finished half of the glass. Note: Pour small amounts into the glass. I'm not sure it tastes good once it's no longer ice cold. Maybe I should drink this over ice?

8:06- Making progress on glass number one. My mouth is really dry. And it tastes like I have just chugged a chocolate shake.

8:13- Bored. I have played around on the Internet. Nothing to see there. I'm now watching "Supersize Me." I want McDonald's.

8:23- Can't keep the cat away from the glass. Is this a good sign?

8:33 - I'm a quitter.
My head is starting to hurt. I'm afraid if I finish this glass, I may not be able to get out of bed tomorrow. I have the sweetest taste in my mouth - worse than when I eat candy corn until I feel sick.

This stuff doesn't taste awful. It might not be bad poured over ice in a much smaller glass. I'll keep the rest of the bottle in my fridge.
I haven't checked for an expiration date, but I am pretty sure that I won't finish it by the end of the year - unless I get really desperate. I seriously feel hungover now. My head is pounding. The room is not spinning - yet. Oh, my stomach. It's not happy with me. I'm going to go brush my teeth and sit still. If you don't hear from me by Monday, send help.

UPDATE: 10:10AM Sunday
Head still hurts. Stomach is a bit angry. Giving serious thought to pouring out the rest of this stuff so I don't make the same mistake twice. 

Friday, November 19, 2010

Week in Pop Culture

It appears Tom Cruise has no fear.
What has Jennifer Lopez done to her face?

Here's a reality show I can't wait to deny I'm watching.

Get ready for a serious sausagefest at SNL in December.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway like being naked together.

They can make all the changes they want to "American Idol," and I still won't watch it after the auditions.

Reality strikes for another "real" housewife.

If this tour makes a stop near me, I might see it.

I'm not sure what a Leighton Meester is, but she doesn't seem to like clothing.

People's Sexiest Man Alive is...
Winona Ryder lives in the 80s.

This is the ONLY time I'm going to mention this divorce.

Flava Flav has a business plan.

Here's a rock feud that I could have cared about maybe 20 years ago.

Natalie Portman can rock a bikini.

My fave celeb stylist is preggers.

Kathy Griffin's reality show may be donesville.

Here are your GQ "Men of the Year."

Here's Halle Berry proving she's not always perfect.
I thought this guy only dated strippers.

It looks like Tom Jones has been Snooki'ed.

Look what's coming back to TV! Excited? Neither am I.

The number one show on cable this week was not that Sarah Palin thingy.

I refuse to see the new Teen Wolf.

As good as he is at acting, it does not seem like Christian Bale enjoys it.

I thought this lady was married, so her engagement is kind of a surprise.

Prince William has finally put a ring on it Kate Middleton.

Look who's designing swimwear your mom will like!
And look who's rocking a bikini!

GQ named it's "Babe of The Year."

Kendra Wilkinson's reality show became a little more revealing.

Remember Sebastian Bach? Maybe this will be a refresher.

Get ready for "Chilean Miners: The Movie."

This cameo could top Mike Tyson's in The Hangover.

I love The Great Gatsby so much, I wasn't sure I wanted a remake until I read this.

This girl is engaged and I hope she has learned not to let cameras into her life. And there's this question about her ring.

A sequel to Precious? I'm not sure I can handle it.

What? Like you don't wear a tank top and panties to yoga?

Seriously. Someone get Randy Quaid a reality show before something bad happens!

I could be on board with this possible sequel. I'm not so sure about these.

Fellas hoping to snag Olivia Munn, take note of this.

This talk show might be crazy enough for me to check out.

Halle Berry does this because she can.

Super smart Natalie Portman is writing a movie I might see.

I don't know why Guns N' Roses feels the need to crank out new music.