I Want My Sleepy Time Back!

I need darkness to sleep. For as long as I can remember, I have blocked any sign of light. I guess I'm like a vampire when I sleep. No light.

But recently, my home phone has become a big pain.

It may not look offensive, but that blue light on the upper right hand might as well be a fog lamp from a light house. It blinks.

Twice.

Then, it pauses for three seconds and does it all over again.

Notice how the phone says I have a new voice mail. That phone is a liar. I have cleared every message - old and new. There is NO message.

I have unplugged the phone in my room to stop the flashing. Then, when I plug it in, the battery is dead (which is OK since I have another phone in the living room). That has created another issue: flashing red light saying the phone is charging. I haven't unplugged the phone for a week and it's still "charging." Now, it's like I have a police car parked in my bedroom. I keep waiting to hear one of SAPD's finest threatening to shoot me. No offense to SAPD, but if you Google "SAPD officer involved shooting" you get more than 6,000 results. People here have not learned that when the cops tell you to stop or they'll shoot, they mean it.

Once I fall asleep, I don't really notice the lights. But if I start stirring (or the cat pounces on me or the dog decides he wants to go outside) in the middle of the night, it's hard to pretend like the phone's not taunting me. I can almost hear it saying, "Ha ha! You're not going back to sleep any time soon!" Yes, my phone is a bit of a jerk and I have told it as much, perhaps in stronger language.

I have put colored tape over the blue light on the phone in my bedroom. That barely blocks the light. I have replaced the battery in each phone and they continue to blink. I have searched online for the manual for the phone (which I threw out a long time ago), but no luck.

Now, I'm thinking my only hope may be to just buy a new phone. One that doesn't lie. One that knows flashing lights are annoying. One that speaks my language: dark and quiet at night.

Or else.

UPDATE: Apparently, I just had to write about it to make it all better! About an hour after this posted, I noticed the blinking light and voicemail message disappeared!