Here's a sign I'm recovering: I've collected the REAL news for you! Enjoy!
Cindy Crawford has cellulite! I ♥ her!
Heidi Montag "performed" at the Miss Universe Pageant. I'm so glad I was watching "True Blood" and "Mad Men" instead of this train wreck.
Speaking of train wrecks...Melanie Griffith checked into rehab. SHOCKED! SHOCKED I SAY! (That's my attempt at a sarcasm font)
As if George Hamilton didn't already creep me out, knowing his "secret" to a youthful appearance rocketed him to the top of the creepy list!
Sheryl Crow sold her music catalog for $10 million. I wouldn't turn that down, but it seems awfully low. I think I could make that kind of money off my music catalog - and I'm a HORRIBLE singer!
More shocking news: Chris Brown assaulted Rhianna before the big blow up. Douche.
Lindsay Lohan's home was burglarized (again). Apparently, some embarrassing photos, videos and documents may have been taken. Really? Could they be more embarrassing than her latest work?
Crazy Train Update: Anne Heche is still on board.
VH1 has discovered that its reality shows aren't so good.
Natalie Portman likes her rap dirty and her cakes filled with ice cream. In other news, we might be related.
Jeremy Piven's fishgate is over. Who wins?
Kim Kardashian is working on a fragrance. I imagine it smells like ding dongs with a hint of desperation.
I've decided that Megan Fox is an attention whore.
And I'll leave you with this little gem:
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