Friday, July 31, 2009
Candy Spelling proves that she's a good mom, by sending a celebrity site an open letter for her daughter, Tori. Because that's how you fix your broken relationship.
Some US swimmer, not Douchey McDouche, had a wardrobe malfunction at the worst possible time. Not sure if it slowed him down.
What happened to Batman?
Rupert Everett (remember him?) apparently has a one-way ticket on the crazy train.
Let's start sending Madonna hamburgers. NOW. Seriously - have you seen her lately?
The lovely January Jones is being told to knock off the skinny.
The cast of "Saved By The Bell" is reuniting - and it feels so good (even without Screech).
Never thought I'd say this, but let's give Jessica Simpson a break. She got dumped (again). And she said something stupid (again).
I'm leaving you with another video - this one of a little boy who can dance. Check him out!
But after living in my house for a few weeks, I didn't think it was worth it to drag the big can to the curb every week. So, I wait until it's mostly full.
Here's the hazard: I take my dog out when I take out the trash. The last time I took out the recycling, he took off after a neighborhood cat. I tried to hold onto his leash, but the weight of the full bin was pulling me down the driveway quickly. I had to make a split decision: let go of the leash and gain control of the bin or hold onto the leash and fall down.
I let go of the leash. Charley didn't go far. I was back in control of the bin. I got it to the curb. I picked up the leash. And then I realized I could have killed myself for that multi-tasking. I know, I know. I could leave the dog inside to make that whole taking out the trash bit easier. But Charley really likes going out in the front yard. And he's so nice I hate to disappoint him. My other alternative is to stop recycling. Or I suppose I could take down the bin when it's less full (but that hardly seems worth it).
However, one of these days you might not hear from me. If you know where I live, please come by and see if I'm dead in the driveway.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Shaq is bringing his reality TV show to ABC next month. If I'm lucky, it will a) be good and b) play at 9pm.
MCA has cancer. No snark for this one.
Nicholas Cage and his hair plugs want in on "The Green Hornet" movie.
If you were planning on sending J-Lo and her twins a gift, don't send balloons.
The Divas return to VH1. No exclamation point. I'm kind of interested in all but one. You guess.
Tyler Perry is a do-gooder. I still don't think he's funny.
OMG - this makes me want to drink Diet Coke!
Seth Rogen was a minor plot line on last Sunday's "Entourage." He has some not-so-nice words for the show's creator.
Katherine Heigl REALLY wants me to punch her in the face. Seriously? Complaining about a 17-hour day - when she only has to work for a few months a year? Suck it.
You should know that if Kiefer Sutherland headbutts you, there's a good chance he won't serve time.
Stephen Baldwin has no talent - I mean money.
Loved "The Notebook." A musical (?) - not so much.
Paul Giamatti speaks soul - not music or food.
If you've ever wanted to smell like a crackhead but don't want to actually SMOKE the crack, this perfume might be the thing for you.
Jon Stewart - the most trusted newsman in America. Um, people know he's not REALLY a newsman right - or are they too dumb to get satire?
Summer was going so well without Speidi, then this. Heidi Pratt is "performing" at the Miss Universe Pageant. First of all, I had no idea these pageants were a) televised or b) watched. But performing? What is she going to do? Stare at the camera? Cry?
Another note from the not-quite-famous crowd: some tabloid reporter resigned after confirming she's dating Jon Gosselin. I'd write something snarky, but I just threw up in my mouth.
I still don't get Zac Efron. He goes from boy who needs a haircut and a shower, to pretty boy. Is there some machine that does this? If so, I'm putting that on my wish list.
Angelina Jolie went to Iraq this week. I went to get nuked in a lab. But I did win $74 in lottery tickets. Who's a winner now?
Paris Hilton might have told the worst lie of the week.
And I'll leave you with this - Will Arnett reading from a familiar teen book. Enjoy?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I haven't felt like writing a real blog lately, so I thought I'd let this Plinky thing fill some space.
I have picked this book up, looked at it, but not gotten any further than that. I have heard great things about it, but I just don't have an answer as to why I haven't started it. Perhaps I'm afraid of not finishing it?
Friday, July 17, 2009
If you liked "The Hangover," maybe you'll like the sequel when it's released in two years.
Yet another example of Hollywood's lack of originality: Hong Kong Phooey is coming to the big screen.
I'm still not sure what the Green Hornet did, but this movie keeps getting press. I still won't see it if Cameron Diaz is in it.
Speaking of comic book heroes turned into movies, Natalie Portman will be in "Thor." I thought that was made up for "Adventures in Babysitting."
One more geek item: see what's sure to be the "get" at Comic-Con.
It's official: Neil Patrick Harris is the new host of everything! Next up: The Emmy Awards.
Apparently, Farrah Fawcett cannot rest in peace. Her diary is going to be published. I don't keep a diary, but if I did, I would certainly haunt anyone who tried to have it published (FYI - it would be SO juicy!).
OMG - Nicole Richie is SO fat! Oh, wait. She's pregnant.
Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo broke up. If you REALLY care, you can look at this slideshow of their happier times.
On a happier note, Robert Redford got married.
Amy Winehouse is back! She looks less coke head, more 90s eye makeup model.
Someone told Renee Zellweger that I only liked her in "Jerry Maguire" and "Bridget Jones." They're bringing Bridget back.
Jennifer Garner has figured out she's better on the tube.
Speaking of comebacks... Whitney Houston's new album drops soon. Take a look at the cover! Note: You might want to turn down your speakers because the site blasts her music - not the new stuff!
Jada Pinkett Smith needs to stop talking about her sex life with Will Smith. Seriously. Stop.
This might be the most disturbing thing I've seen all week (and I've seen a lot). I still don't get why people feel the need to take pictures of themselves like that and put it out there. Maybe I'm too old for such things.
The crazy train has made another stop. It's latest passenger: Mischa Barton. I'd go crazy, too, if no one would hire me.
So this is what Anderson Cooper is hiding under his suits! WOW! No, Mom. I still can't marry him.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Janet from "Three's Company" got caught DWI. No word on whether she was leaving the Regal Beagle - or if Chrissy had anything to do with it. Note: If you have the unpleasant experience of taking a mugshot, perhaps you should not make the face she made.
The Big Ragoo also allegedly got his drink on and drove. This makes me wonder if there's a movie coming based on "Three's Company" or "Laverne & Shirley." That would TOTALLY make me drink. Please, Hollywood, STOP MAKING OLD TV SHOWS INTO MOVIES!
Justin Timberlake is apparently writing a book about golf. Unless he's writing about his crazy times with Britney, I won't be reading it.
Those "Housewives" of NYC are trying to keep it real - REAL EXPENSIVE. They apparently want raises to do another season. Why? They're not even the most interesting of the bunch?
Future hussies can dress like Miley Cyrus - if the tween star was put on a super cheap budget. She's developing a line for Wal-Mart.
Add Ryan Gosling to the list of hyphenates. The actor is working on an album.
Lindsay Lohan is actually turning down work - including a movie that turned out to be a surprise hit. Who knew?
I'm beginning to understand why the fellas are interested in Megan Fox.She's apparently willing to do anything for a movie role.
Gwyneth Paltrow says you should do a cleanse. I am, starting with her movies. Ahhh. I feel much better.
Any interest I had in the "Green Hornet" movie is fading fast now that Cameron Diaz may join the cast.
Yeah, Ben Affleck, this is why I don't like you. Truth: you just don't make good movies. You're no Casey.
Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster may star in a movie together. It just sounds dirty. And not good.
And guys will be guys - no matter what country they lead or how beautiful the wife.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I admit that I was fascinated by the Michael Jackson coverage over the last two weeks. It's hard not to be. It's everywhere! Now, I know plenty of people who choose not to honor the Michael in the picture. But let me tell you why I think we should remember that guy.
I remember the first time I saw that "Billie Jean" video. The sidewalk lighting up. His voice. The dancing. I think it was the first time I saw anyone like him. I was too young to know Michael from his "ABC" days. And, tragically, my only exposure to the Jackson Five was limited to that silly space-suit era. But since then, I've learned to appreciate the young Michael.
When "Thriller" was released, I was in awe. I mean, he was dancing in the streets with zombies! Sure, he seemed a little different. At the time, that "different" was good. Even my little brother was caught up in the whole mania. He did the dance - and it even cost him a trip to the hospital for some stitches when he spun around and broke a glass figurine, slicing his finger.
I lost interest in Michael around the "Black/White" time. My musical taste was changing and I thought he was silly. I had my giggles at his whole Elephant Man, Bubbles The Chimp and hyperbaric chamber. I thought it was strange that he and Elizabeth Taylor were friends. I mean, she could be his mother! But I moved on.
Then came the allegations of child molestation. Could that be why he was so odd? We all knew about his troubled childhood. But could he really be that messed up that he would cause harm to children? When he paid off that first kid, I understood that it's easier for someone in his position to write a check to make it go away. But I questioned the kid's parents' motives. If you were sexually abused, wouldn't you want justice - not a paycheck? If you thought he was a predator, wouldn't you feel obligated to protect other children? Then came the second case, which went to trial. Yes, we saw all kinds of oddities - including the insides Neverland Ranch. It was an absolute freakshow! Yet, somehow a jury looked past the Jesus Juice, the secret rooms, the obsession of an older man living as a boy. They found him not guilty. They heard more evidence than we did. So that should have closed the case.
Michael got stranger. Not just his appearance, but his behavior. I have no idea what his life must have been like. Being forced to live in exile - so far from family, practically on the run with his children. His life seemed lonely.
Not that I pitied Michael. He had his share of mistakes made in the public eye. But I was always a little sad for him. I could forget how wierd his life was when I listened to his music. It has always made me happy.
That's why Michael is celebrated in his death. He brought joy to so many people with his songs. When he moonwalked, he inspired an entire generation of kids to dance. Just watch Usher perform. In fact, it would be hard to find a person in pop music who was not inspired by the self-proclaimed "King of Pop." His memorial serivce was filled with people who, no doubt, at some point wanted to BE Michael Jackson. And seeing his young daughter (I don't care who really fathered her), say just a few words about what a wonderful father he was to her, you couldn't help but believe her.
I'm going to wrap this up with my favorite performance from the memorial. R.I.P., Michael. And I hope that you have found peace. I hope your children make you proud. And I hope they know how much you meant to so many people. Michael is gone. His music lives forever.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
So why the celebration? Because this book I tackled was Barbara Walters "Audition." I could have done without knowing about her sexual escapades (seriously - she could be my Grandmother - and I don't want to know that much about either of them). But Barbara didn't just cover history, she made it. She broke some serious ground for women in journalism. For that, I am grateful. But it became quite tedious, which is why I kept putting it down and leaving it on the nightstand for weeks at a time.
What's also impressive to me is Barbara's memory. You see, I can't remember conversations I had yesterday, let alone those from my childhood! She also had some interesting insight into Presidents and world leaders.
But I do have to say, one of the reasons I probably didn't dedicate more time to finishing this book is that it's heavy. I made the mistake of buying the large print edition. That made it about twice as big as the regular book. It's a weapon!
The book wasn't awful (I've definitely read worse). It was informative. It just wasn't that entertaining. Now, I'm rummaging through my nightstand to choose the next book. I'm hoping for one that will make it hard for me to put it down. I want to finish the next book before September. I'll keep you posted!
Often, I have been disappointed, or just slightly entertained by the recommendations. Then came a little foreign film called "I've Loved You So Long."
It was brilliant and beautiful and heartbreaking! Loved it! Recommend more of that, please! If you're interested in the film, here's the trailer. Please check it out. Note: It's in French, but there are subtitles. If you're not up to that, skip it. Otherwise, enjoy!
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy Independence Day - unless you're from England. In which case you're probably giving us the middle finger today.
If you thought I was going to get all historic on you and explain why we celebrate this day with fireworks or barbecues, you're mistaken.
I learned something new today: when you leave hot dogs on the grill for too long, they pop open. Oh, they also get much bigger (though that's temporary). So, don't do that.
Also, I'm hoping to spend the night enjoying the peace and quiet inside my home. So, neighbors, if you stumble upon my blog, kindly refrain from setting off fireworks here. My grass is so dry it hurts to walk on it. I hand watered it briefly this evening, but I know it's not enough to protect it from fire (it's probably not enough to protect it from the stupid sun, either).
I've been looking for something patriotic on TV all day. So far, I've struck out. So I'll leave you with one of my favorite patriotic songs. Enjoy!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Anna Kournikova may know how to swing a tennis racket, but she does not know how to throw punches.
I want to be Simon Cowell when I grow up. And by "grow up," I mean I want a check for $144 million.
Drea De Matteo is going to Wisteria Lane. Hopefully she will have a better life there than she did in Jersey.
Sarah Jessica Parker showed off her twins. Not those twins. Actual babies.
Al Franken FINALLY gets his spot in the Senate. Now, let the real funny business begin!
I can't tell them apart, but one of the Jonas boys is engaged. I had no idea they were old enough for such things!
A girl named Bar who is/isn't dating Leonardo DiCaprio made a naked video.
And the Emmy awards will be worth watching now that Neil Patrick Harris is hosting!