Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I'm A Bad Movie Watcher


It's not my fault. Really. I blame Netflix.

I've been a member of this movie rental site for six years now. Some years, I've been their dream customer, holding onto DVDs for months at a time before dumping that little red envelope in the mail. But I have recently forced myself to set aside time each weekend to watch at least one movie. After all, I do have 400 movies in my queue. Don't judge me (yet). Let me explain.

You see, when I watch a movie, I rate it. Then, with the help of some magical computer nerd who created a program, the site recommends movies I might like based on the selections I've rated with three or more stars. Sometimes I think, "OOH! I did like Harrison Ford in 'The Fugitive,' so, sure I'll watch this movie I've never heard of that was released six months ago." Same goes for foreign films (which I tend to like, I just have to be prepared to sit very still and not leave the room as I have a very limited understanding of other languages - and sometimes struggle with English!), documentaries, or TV shows I (believe it or not) never got around to watching. So I add those titles. Also, when a group like the American Film Institute puts out a list of 100 movies you MUST see, I go through it, look up the films, and add them to my queue if they seem interesting. That's how my queue has more movies than one person should watch. However, I keep thinking if I should come down with mono, I could SOOO put a dent in that!

But things have changed. I have been forced to watch movies (that's right, FORCED) that are not good. I am amazed at the number of incredibly talented actors making horrible films. I am incredibly disappointed to see funny people making movies that are billed as comedies but seem half-assed. I have seen more duds than hits the last few months. Some of them have been so bad, I give them just half an hour before I hit eject. I don't feel bad at all shoving that disc in the envelope and saying, "Good riddance!" I feel even better when I drop it in the mailbox. Freedom from bad films!

Now, I find it harder to go to the theater for a movie. Why? Because it takes more effort. No matter had bad the movie, I will sit through it and hope that it will get better. and I mean it when I say I have never walked out of a theater (and I saw "Leprechaun" - not because I wanted to, but because I was being paid to review it).

There are some movies that are really good. But it just seems most of them are not. That doesn't mean I won't give them a shot with Netflix. It just means that I won't shed a tear when I put that DVD back in the mail without knowing how it ends. It's also what's made me go in and cut 50 or so movies (and counting) from the queue because I can tell just on the description that I won't enjoy them.

So there you have it, movie people. Entertain me. Make me laugh. Make me cry. Just don't make me mad. Trust me. You don't want me on your bad side.

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